The Narrow Gate

Attached as we are to all that fades,
Our clothers, our looks, our machinations,
In a society where growing old is a sin,
Like drinking sour wine, eating stale bread,
It sticks in my throat this sickly medicine,
Waiting for a new skin, a new way of living,
One that is not bought by me for me in me,
Waiting for new vessels in which to place my self,
To be reborn under water within Him,
For I have spent this life many times without,
Without relationship, without boundless joy,
Without a sense of the eternal hope springs forever,
Must whisper these words with croaking voice,
Before this world holes me like a pigeon,
Must whisper of surface glimpsed arms aloft,
Yet unless my heart opens now, great bow doors,
Unless I take in the whole of creation in one gasping gulp,
Then it will drown me outside in with a blink inconsequent,
And I will be an old hero, a war story, a collapsing coin spinning utterance,
A random power play in a terminal Universe,
Stark in its choice looms the narrow gate.

( Wooah! What the heck is that all about? I sort of get the first bit (lines 1-7)- a take on consumerism and the meanginglessness of a life devoted to stuff that decays (looks, food, wine). And then there is the line about 'new vessels' which echoes the new testament verse - 'Neither do men pour new wine into old vessels' - Matthew 9:17.  A reference to the fact that transformative change (a rebirth) cannot be superficial. Consumerism as a way of being that does not bring happiness and that focusses upon things rather than relationships. The hopelessness of consumerism. And then (line 13 - 'Must whisper these words...') a sudden self consciousness arising from the lapse into religious language and the steroetyping this will provoke in others. Then finally the choice - the choice between being true to oneself or keeping up appearances. The inability to be half pregnant ( 'Unless I take in the whole of creation in one gasping gulp'). A life of meaning (joy, hope ,eternal) or meaninglessness (coin spinning, random ,terminal). The last line is yet another new testament reference - 'Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.- - Matthew 7:13. Any clearer? I dunno. This guy is stark raving bonkers :) :) lol